4 months.

4 months. Some days have been quite pleasant. Other days have been rather caustic. I won’t lie to you. Sometimes I hate Korea. Sometimes I don’t want everybody staring at me. Sometimes I don’t want you, total stranger, to come interrupt my “me time” at the coffee shop because you need to interview the waygook for your school project. Sometimes I just want you to let me ride the subway in peace. I don’t come up to you and ask you why you’re here and how old you are, do I? Sometimes I just want to go to the market and buy all the foreign items and not have you burn holes through me with your eyes. I’m not here to offend anyone or turn anyone’s world upside down. I’m just here to buy Oreos. Sometimes I would like to complete simple daily tasks like going to the bank or the post office without those events having to turn into a game of charades. (I guess that last one’s my fault, but whateve.) And sometimes I want my job to be just a smidge less stressful…

BUT. Not every day is an “I hate Korea day.” There are many redeeming qualities to this country. For starters, the Tower Burger at KFC. Now you probably don’t know what that is because they aren’t sold in the US but they should be because they are magical. Allow me to explain to you. A delicious and tender zinger chicken filet, cheese, crispy lettuce, A HASH BROWN, creamy mayonnaise and spicy salsa all sandwiched between a lightly toasted sesame Kaiser bun. WHY HAVE WE NOT BEEN PUTTING HASH BROWNS ON OUR CHICKEN SANDWICHES?!? Somebody fix this in the next 8 months.

I won’t go into much depth about the artic winter and the frigid winds from Siberia that caused me to be a very sad and angry person from the months of December to…well, it’s still cold. But I will tell you that heated flooring is a brilliant thing. And it’s everywhere in this country. And I love it. It makes me feel fancy and luxurious.

I like that every now and then I get a small glimpse of my effort paying off. Let’s take one of yesterday’s classes for an example. I have this lovely middle school student named Jerry. Jerry is a trip. He never remembers his books and rarely does his homework, but he uses flattery to get his way. So we get along. He often tells me I am a god. Well, thank you, Jerry. I’ve been teaching Jerry for a little over four months now. EVERY single time Jerry has walked into the classroom he has greeted me by saying “Nice to meet you, teacher.” And every day I say, “Nice to SEE you, Jerry.” It had just become routine. I mean, after 4 months I didn’t really think he’d ever pick up on the difference. Well low and behold yesterday Jerry walks into the classroom and says, “Nice to see you, teacher.” I heart skipped a beat. I’m pretty sure I had a little spell of arrhythmia. I was beside myself. There was huge scene. I jumped up and down. I hugged him. I hollered. He said, “So I correct??” “You correct, Jerry! AHH!” I’m still living in the glory of that moment.

Somedays I am crazy homesick. And for those days I have Duck Dynasty episodes and french fries. Tower burgers and heated floors. I don’t really need anything else. I mean seriously, a hash brown on a sandwich. Let's just say they know my face at the KFC and they know what I'm going to order. 

PHAT

My kids call me fat all the time. Now, as a girl with some serious muscle tone and some extra layers due to my love of all carbohydrates, I'm no size 2. But fat is not the word I use to describe myself. (Unless we're talking about PHAT). And I've even lost a significant amount of weight since I've been here. But do my kids notice?? No! All they keep saying is "Teacher you fat!" Oh yeah?? We'll good luck ever being any good at basketball, shorty...

Yesterday I had an epiphany when one of my 8 yr old students was on one of his teacher is fat rants. It's my breast. They have no idea how to distinguish between fat and large breast. Duh. If I have to special order my bra in America imagine how mind blowing that is in Asia? Yeah. Not explaining that to children. We'll just go with fat. I'm good with fat.

Most of time I stay in a very confused state when it comes to my self image between my students telling me I have 3 necks and all the old men I pass on my commute to work telling me I'm beautiful. Big necked and beautiful. I'll take it.

The one thing the Koreans and I agree on is that I have great nails. Well, we all knew that.

Kimchi and Peanut Butter

Some days I feel like my life in Seoul isn’t really that much different from what my life was like in Mississippi. Ya know, other than the fact that I’m in Korea. I work about 50 hours a week and I’m usually too tired to do anything fun when I’m not working so I spend my off days watching American TV that I downloaded from the internet. Pretty much exactly like the last two years of my life. And then I remember that it’s been 102 days since I’ve tasted the glorious nectar that is sweet tea and I’ve been wearing socks for the past 102 days consecutively. Then I realize just how different my life is now. Too many sock days and not enough sweet tea. 

I know it’s been a while since I posted anything. Work has just been really time consuming lately so I literally come home and go straight to bed. I’m now the proud owner of a bicycle. (It’s awesome. Basket and bell included.) So my commute to work has been reduced by more than half. And I pedal pretty quickly on the way home. Sometimes I like to time myself and see how quickly I can get home, do all the things I need to do, and get into bed. And as I type that out I realize just how lame my life is...

I know I've done a really terrible job of keeping you updated. I guess I've been too busy being super lame. I will show you a few pictures of some of the typical food I eat. 

I eat a lot of pork. Korean BBQ. I always eat too much when I eat BBQ. 

Fish. If I remember correctly this is yellow tail. I took this picture a while ago. I eat raw fish every now and then. It's real fresh. Ya know, since Korea is a peninsula and all.

And these little buggers?? Silk worms. They made me eat one. Probably not something I'll make part of my regular diet. However, they are packed with protein. 

Adjusting to the food here has been kind of a weird process. Since I basically only have two favorite things in this world- people and food- I kind of figured it wouldn't be much of a transition. But what I've found to be true for me is that while I like Korean food, it doesn't make me feel the way fried pork chops and mashed potatoes does. And honestly, as much as I hate to admit it, my favorite restaurant is probably a toss up between KFC and Taco Bell. I'm sorry. I feel like a huge culinary disappointment. But something about a french fry and processed cheese just makes me feel like a real girl. There are a handful of dishes that I'm starting to really enjoy. And my palate is adjusting to spicier foods (and my digestive system, but we don't have to talk about that). I do really like bibimbab, which is basically rice, vegetables, and a spicy red bean paste all mixed together. It's a really simple traditional dish. Sometimes people make it fancy with meat or an egg. I also really like this dish that's basically stir fried kimchi and pork belly. It's probably my favorite dish. And I really like kimchi fried rice. 

But all in all, at the end of the day, I don't really worry because I have peanut butter. I keep a jar at home and a jar at work. Sometimes I put it on a banana. Sometimes I eat it with crackers. Sometimes I eat it with ice cream. Sometimes I make a sandwich. And sometimes I just sit at my desk and eat it by the spoonful. That's when I know I'm okay. Kimchi and peanut butter. What else do I need??

Love you, kids.

xoxo

two month anniversary

Korea and I have been together for two months as of today, Wednesday, January 16, 2013. We’ve had our ups and downs. And I don’t think Korea is the one for me. But why not have fun while I’m young? So we’re not gonna break up just yet.

Some really crazy American pop culture references have been occurring in my classes, and they have not been coming from me. Now most of the kids are around the same age in the classes but they aren’t necessarily grouped by school grade or age, though those are often similar, but their English skill level groups them. So naturally, a student in one of my phonics classes is going to speak the least amount of English. But they try very hard for me. And it is so adorable especially when they’re 7, 8, and 9 years old. So I’m in the middle of phonics class with this lovely little boy named Richard who just has the cutest little face with the biggest checks and the squintiest little eyes. I just wanted to squeeze him all the time. I’m standing in the front of the classroom trying to teach these children the “ou” and “ow” have the same sound when I feel Richard pulling on my shirt. “Teacher. Teacher. Teacher.”

“Yes, Richard?”

“Hammer. Hammer, down. (pointing down) Down. Hammer. Hammer.”

“Yes, Richard. There is a man with a hammer downstairs.”

(Some men where doing some construction on the first floor of the building.)

Then Jacob, a 9 year old Korean boy who sits in the back of the room, equally as cute, but four times as terrible, jumps out of his seat and yells, “MC HAMMER!!!!” and begins do his odd rendition of Hammer Time. It was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen in my life.

Then today, in a different phonics class, we’re flipping through our flash cards. I’m showing them pictures and they’re spelling words with “ai” and “ay” sounds. Riveting stuff. When we get the picture of rain instead of spelling the word, one kid stands up and begins to sing It’s Raining Men. Since when do 11 year old Korean boys know The Weather Girls? I was laughing so hard I dropped the flashcards.

So two months. I feel like I’m starting to figure things out. Ha…no I’m not. It finally smells normal. It took a good while for me to be able to walk outside and not smell Korea. I can’t really describe what it smells like. You know how people’s houses have different scents? Well I’ve decided countries have different scents. I can’t smell Korea anymore. I guess that means I really live here. My butt is a little bit smaller from all this walking. Not mad about that. The whereabouts of the foreign grocery store has been located, which will be key to conquering Asia. I will be pay 17,000 won for a bag of shredded Mexican blend cheese when necessary. This isn’t about survival anymore. Conquering.  I’ve been going to a church about 30 minutes from me in Gangnam. One of my favorite things about the service is that for a little over an hour I hear nothing but perfect English. Yeah, Jesus is great too, but ENGLISH! It’s like I step back into the US for a little bit. If the US were full of Asians and just sprinkled with a few white people instead of vice versa.

Love you guys. Miss you guys. It’s still pretty cold here, so if you want you can come over and we can snuggle and watch Wild America. 

xoxo

p.s. please forgive any spelling or grammar errors. I now find myself saying things like most funniest and very many times. I also can no longer distinguish between no, know, or their, there, and they're. 

Cat noises

Since we're an English academy and our sole purpose is to teach English, one of our classroom rules is that the students only speak in English during the class periods. They never abide by this rule. If I had a dollar for every time I said "don't speak in Korean" I would be a ridiculously rich woman. I would probably have a bathtub installed in my apartment. This one particular class of four boys are terrible about this. Their names are Harry, Steven, Joseph, and Jaehyung. (Pronounce that Jay-young. Sometimes I call him young money. He never responds to that.) Joseph is the worst. Sometimes when I ask Joseph a question he answers me in Korean. I give him that very distinct expression I have that let's you know I think you're stupid and he says, "Oh. Sorry, sorry." Which sometimes sounds like oh solly solly. And he answers again. Often the second time around only half of his words will be in Korean. Definite improvement. Well, today I was determined to have a class full of English words. So I told the boys I would bring them a present on Friday. They love food and they love free things. ( See how American I've made them already?? ) But, I told them the present had conditions. If I heard one of them speak Korean that individual did not get the present, and if Joseph spoke Korean, NOBODY got the presents. The other the boys screamed at the same time, "Joseph! Don't speak Korean!!!" Oh but I knew he would...

So we had about 15 minutes left of class and so far there had been no Korean. I'd been very proud. Then I hear Joseph turn around to Harry and say a Korean word. I won't try to spell it phonetically so no one can make fun of me later when I'm wrong. I didn't know the word but I knew it was Korean. And the boys's eyes got really big and it was obvious everybody was trying to pretend like nothing happened. I stopped Harry from reading and asked Joseph what he said. This is the conversation that followed.

Teacher: Joseph, excuse me. Did you speak Korean?
Joseph: (grinning) oh, no.
Teacher: What did you say to Harry?
Joseph: umm...
Steven: meow
Joseph: yes. I said meow.
Teacher: you said meow??
Joseph: yes. Meow.
Teacher: why did you say meow?
Joseph: I like cat.
Teacher: Joseph, I know you didn't make a cat noise.
Joseph: oh yes, teacher. I always make cat noise. Many many cat noise. All the time. Meow! Meow! (Still grinning)
Teacher: ok, Joseph.

It was hysterical. I was dying.

I also had a class inform me today that I am old and uncool. That one hurt a little bit...