thirty lessons in thirty years

I know December just got started, but I’ve already started my self reflecting for the year. No, I don’t always do a yearly recap of my life. I certainly do not always publish my self reflections on the Internet. But I’m feeling generous, so I’m gonna share. I feel good about 2018, (granted, we’ve got a few more weeks so there’s still time for me to really screw it all up) even though this life is so far from any way I’ve ever pictured it. It’s unbelievably different from just two years ago. And there are many days I feel drastically different from everyone around me. Maybe because I am. Eh, whatever. Anyway, I’ve been thinking about all the choices that got me to this good place. The right ones and the wrongs ones, the ones I had to work for and the ones that fell in my lap. I’ve made a list of lessons those choices have taught me over the last 30 years. (Yes, technically 29 and 1/2 years, but that would make a terrible title.) Some are from movies. Some of them are from people with way more wisdom than I’ll ever have. Some lessons are from Joy the Baker because we all should learn from her. And some of them have been learned the good old fashioned way, trial and error. I hope you do a little self reflecting this year too, and think about what you’ve been learning.

1. Your heart heals faster than your head forgets. But both happen when you allow it. 
2. In order to hav  a good friend you have to be a good friend. 
3. It’s okay to be lonely. If your options are settling or being lonely, be lonely. And get a dog. Or 6. 
4. Bad things happen to good people. Good things happen to bad people. Sometimes, things just happen. 
5. Look people in the eye when you talk to them. It’s not weird. It’s how you’re supposed to communicate. 
6. Learn how to apologize sincerely, because sometimes it really is your fault. 
7. Talking shit about people feels good, but taste bad. It’s the opposite of McDonald’s. 
8. Always check your hair from behind. There’s a whole situation back there and you can’t just fix the front and think the back will take care of itself. It won’t.
9. Exfoliate. Your body. Your kitchen. Your carpet. Exfoliate all the things. 
10. Never ever ever ever ever take your shoes off in the club. If you are in the club thinking about taking your shoes off, get in a cab and go home. 
11. Don’t tell everybody your business. Just handle it. 
12. Life isn’t fair. Sometimes it’s really not fair. 
13. Don’t wait for some stupid boy to give you closure. You give yourself closure. Eat the chocolate and close that mess right on up. 
14. You cannot ask God for patience and wake up one day being patient. It is learned. Usually over and over again. 
15. Being thirty does not suck unless you think it sucks for some reason. 
16. Comparison is the thief of joy. Seriously. You do you. 
17. It’s okay for people you love to like music you think is garbage. Do not berate someone for their music preferences. It’s really unnecessary and quite rude. 
18. There is no better suffering than high school. It is prime suffering. 
19. Have a hobby or two. Idle hands are the devil’s playground. 
20. Find what color makes your eyes stand out and wear it all the time. 
21. Learn how to cook well. 
22. Ask yourself who you are every once in a while. Knowing yourself is important. Why do you do the things you do? Why do you believe the values you believe?
23. Do not continue to squeeze yourself into too small jeans. Buy a bigger size. Love yourself.
24. Your story is worth telling. Everyone’s is. Be the person willing to listen to other people’s story. 
25. Learn how to take a compliment. Reciprocate only if you mean it. There is no need for empty words.
26. Be honest. Be honest with yourself. Be honest with your friends. Be honest with your family. Be honest with strangers. 
27. People will disappoint you and you will disappoint people. Thankfully, disappointment has never caused the world to explode. 
28. Take as many pictures as it takes for everyone to look good. 
29. Quit saying there aren’t enough hours in the day. You have the same amount of hours as everyone else. 
30. God is good even when you doubt God is good.